On 3D

            Avatar has created quite the buzz in the movie industry. Indeed, it’s currently the second highest grossing film of all time and features “groundbreaking” 3D technology. And while I loved the movie, ignoring the poor script for the sheer beauty of the thing, I do not think that all movies could work in 3D, especially those half-classics of recent years that have already reserved a special place in our hearts with their 2D-selves.

            However, apparently Hollywood thinks I’m wrong. There’s a lot of buzz in Times and other sources that studios are looking through their catalogues for movies that could be dimensionalized and released in 3D. Take a couple of guesses as to what their top choices are. Go on, it’s not that hard. Here’s a clue, the director of one of these series has a long history of fucking up remakes.

            Yep, George Lucas is looking for a rerelease Star Wars in 3D. And the other culprit? Peter Jackson, who is looking at a rerelease of Lord of the Rings in 3D, possibly as early as holiday 2012 to coincide with The Hobbit release. Ok, I’ll admit, I could picture a few scenes of these movies looking really fucking awesome in 3D, I mean, the battle of Helms Deep in 3D? Sign me on. However, why can’t we just let these movies chill? They’ve done such hard work to entertain us; maybe it’s time for a little retirement.

            Now, don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against 3D… when it’s executed correctly. Let’s take a look at Avatar, the scenes out on the world of Pandora - where everything was CG – looked excellent, but the scenes in the ship with human beings looked silly sometimes. I’m afraid that an update of movies such as Lord of the Rings, where so many of the effects were done with costumery and models, will look as silly in 3D as the catina dancers did in the rereleased Star Wars. All I ask for is a little tact.

            It’s just a money game though, this Hollywood thing. So, Avatar’s success has obviously piqued the interest of studio heads. However, here’s the problem: success in this business isn’t based on repetition of the past. Repeating past success is just a dream of executives who want to keep their jobs. If they fail in a remake or rerelease of a 3D movie they can point and say “but it worked for Avatar, obviously I’m not to blame”, whereas if they had some balls to be original they don’t have that safety net. Which is, in the end, what made Avatar such a huge success; James Cameron grew some massive cajones and said, “fuck ya’ll, I’m doing my own thing.”

        No matter how you feel on the matter, the next few years are going to prove interesting as Hollywood is making a big push for 3D to be the new format. 3D blu-rays and TV’s will be released as early as this coming Christmas. I just hope filmmakers have a little tact and use the technology to supplement characters and stories, but even as I write this I know it’s a vain hope.